I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I yelled at your uterus for you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
