i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
