What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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