If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
