Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
