I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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