Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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