If i come over, it means nothing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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