Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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