So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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