she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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