my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
