Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
