I just threw up on my dentist
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
