that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You were trust falling into bushes
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
