If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize