My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
