Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Your cock deserves a montage
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
