Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
