What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
