We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
