Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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