Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Found your dick twin last night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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