honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How's work?
Spinning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
