I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will pee on everything he values.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
