In the future we'll all be gay
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My ass is underappreciated
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
