It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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