the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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