You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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