When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
