Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
