We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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