just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
