like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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