i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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