By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
