I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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