Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
