That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
