People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize