He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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