If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize