Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize