my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
