Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
