I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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