So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
