buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
