And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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