xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
