Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have fence marks all over my body
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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