Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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