dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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