Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
