I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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