AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She announced her abortion via fbk
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
