Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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