someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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