hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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