my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize