I'm going to jail i love you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
