I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
