five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
