come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
