Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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